The Meeting Kit
For the parent who already knows something's missing from the plan — and needs the words to say it out loud.
Every year, families discover too late that years of meetings didn't produce the independence they were hoping for.
The problem usually isn't that they cared too little.
It's that they didn't know which questions to ask—or how to ask them while decisions were still being made
It doesn't have to be that way.
Does this sound like you?
You leave IEP or Treatment Plan meetings feeling like decisions were already made before you walked in
You've been told your child is "making progress" — but you're not sure progress toward *what*
You suspect something is missing from your child's program but don't have the words to say it
You're terrified of what happens when your child ages out of school services
You feel like the experts in the room know more than you — so you stay quiet
You are not alone. And you are not powerless.
The window is shorter than most families realize.
The skills your child is — or isn't — being taught right now will directly shape the quality of their adult life. Employment. Independence. Relationships. Community belonging.
These outcomes don't happen by accident. They're built, year by year, with the right goals in the right environments.
Every IEP or Treatment Plan cycle is an opportunity. Don't let another one pass without knowing whether your child's program is truly preparing them for the life they deserve.
You don't need a degree in special education to advocate for your child.
Research tells us that the families who get the best outcomes are not necessarily the ones with the most resources. They're the ones who ask the right questions early — and keep asking them.
You need to know what to look for.
That's exactly what the Meeting Kit gives you.
This isn't another guide that tells you to "advocate." It shows you how.
Most IEP resources explain your rights. Very few tell you what to actually say when a goal doesn't make sense, a team says no, or you need to push back without turning the meeting into a fight.
The Meeting Kit gives you ready-to-use scripts for the conversations parents have every day—so you can walk into the room calm, prepared, and confident instead of trying to find the right words under pressure.
Here's what you'll get…
16 sections of word-for-word scripts — every one ends in something you can read off the page without softening it
The three tests that decide whether a goal belongs on the plan at all — including the fifty-year-old standard most parents have never been told about, and the two numbers on every goal that almost nobody reads
What to do when they say no — how to tell which kind of no you're holding, what each one needs, and how to escalate rung by rung if it comes to that
Fill-in templates for what happens after — the follow-up email, the written goal request, the prior written notice request
A tear-out cheat sheet — one page with the Criterion, the 14 Critical Skills, the five teaching questions and the ten scripts you'll actually use. This is the page that walks into the room.
Created by someone who has spent 15+ years asking the right questions — and teaching others to do the same.
Dr. Shanna Bahry, Ph.D., BCBA-D
I'm Dr. Shanna Bahry, Ph.D., BCBA-D – a doctoral-level Board Certified Behavior Analyst who has dedicated her career to one question: are we actually preparing young people with autism and related disabilities for a meaningful adult life?
I've trained and consulted with professionals across the country — and internationally — on exactly what skills matter, how to teach them, and why so many programs fall short. My research has been published in peer-reviewed journals, and she has authored a book and contributed chapters to multiple professional texts on the topic.
Here's what sets me apart: I also work with parents.
Because I've has spent years in rooms full of professionals who weren't t asking the right questions, I know that the most powerful advocate in any child's life isn't always the one with the credentials. It's the parent who knows what to look for — and refuses to stay quiet.
I've coached, consulted, and advocated alongside families, teaching parents the same frameworks I teach professionals: what adulthood-focused programming actually looks like, what questions to ask, and what to do when the answers aren't good enough.
The Meeting Kit is one way I hope to close the gap — putting the same knowledge I share on professional stages directly into the hands of the people who need it most: parents preparing for a meeting that will shape their child's future.
With this Meeting Kit, you'll know…
How to tell in about a minute whether a goal is worth fighting for — and what to say when it isn't
Which two numbers to ask about on every goal, and why they're usually set backwards
How to ask about how a skill is being taught, not just what — method, age, place, practice, and whether there's an easier path
Exactly what to say when the answer is no — including the one question that tells you whether you're facing a disagreement or a stuck system
You might be thinking…
"I don't want to seem difficult or create conflict with the team."
Advocating for your child isn't confrontational — it's your job. The best IEP teams *want* engaged parents. This checklist helps you come to the table informed and collaborative, not combative.
"My child's school knows what they're doing."
Many do — and this checklist will confirm that. But research consistently shows that even well-intentioned teams miss critical skill areas, especially around transition and adulthood. A quick review costs nothing. Peace of mind is priceless.
"My child is young. We have time."
Transition planning experts recommend starting adulthood-focused skill building much earlier than most families expect. The earlier you ask these questions, the more options your child will have.
This isn't about finding fault with your child's team. It's about making sure everyone in that room is working toward the same thing: a future where your child can live, work, and connect as independently and meaningfully as possible.
Ready to walk into your next meeting knowing exactly what to ask?
$19
Normally $27
Exclusive discount ends soon
$19
Your child deserves a future that was planned for — and you are the most important person in that plan.